Car in Tow

Thirty-eight years ago I pulled apart a perfectly serviceable 1957 (year of registration; build year is actually 1956) Jaguar xk140 drop head coupe, chassis number 818650BW, with the intention of restoring her.  Like Sisyphus pushing his rock uphill I didn’t quite make it to the top of the mountain.  I kicked myself in the ass over it for many years.

Now, at 61, I’m having another go at it (The restoration part, not the self-directed ass-kicking).  I find myself confronting Heraclitus’s observation that “no man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”  It’s a hard truth about the passage of time.

Here’s my problem with documenting this endeavour:  the world doesn’t need another nuts and bolts restoration blog.  There are already plenty of fine, enjoyable examples.  Restoration is largely a process of pulling things apart, cleaning them up, repairing the broken stuff and putting everything back together.  Or shelling out buckets of Benji’s to other people, paying them to have all the fun. There is satisfaction in the process of doing it oneself, a minor victory in the battle against the passage of time.

That doesn’t necessarily make compelling reading.  I believe anyone interested in restoration work knows basic righty-tighty, lefty-loosey mechanics.  I think the only possible incentive for me to keep writing is to wrap this project in some sort of story.

The position I find myself in is summed up by this joke:

An old man is walking along a forest path when he encounters a small frog.  He picks it up, puts it in his pocket and continues on his way.  After a few minutes he hears a tiny voice.  “Please Sir, take me out of your pocket!  I need to speak with you!”

He takes the frog out of his pocket and holds it in front of his face.  The frog speaks again.

“Sir, I am so happy that you found me.  I’m an enchanted Princess.  All you have to do is kiss me and the spell will be broken.  I’ll be a Princess once again.  So, please, kiss me!”

“What’s in it for me?” asks the old man.

“I’ll be forever grateful,” said the frog.  “And to show my appreciation I’ll make love with you whenever you want.”

“Well,” says the old man, “That’s splendid.”  He puts the frog back in his pocket and keeps on trucking.

“Hey!” shouts the princess frog from his pocket, “what’s the deal?  I’m a Princess!  I told you I’d make love with you anytime you want!  Just kiss me!”

The old man reaches in his pocket and takes out the frog again.  “Your Royal Highness,” he said, “Forgive me.  I really do appreciate your offer.  But at this point in my life, well–I think I’d rather have a talking frog.”

Reader, be warned!  The blog you are about to read is somewhat less than sex with a Princess and more Talking Frog…